Hi everyone. Since Scott reviewed some games, my entries will be movie reviews.
DISCLAIMER: To start I would like to say that the opinions in these reviews are only mine and you don't have to agree with me. It's better to have your own opinions about movies than to blindly follow the opinions of others, including me. That being said, my opinions are right and if you disagree, well then, I guess you're wrong.
RATING SYSTEM: I don't give movies numbers or letters as ratings. Instead I developed my own system. If a movie is GOOD, I compare it to an equally good thing. And if a movie is BAD, I compare it to an equally bad thing.
1. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4: GHOST PROTOCOL
-Tom Cruise takes a break from Scientology to be in a movie that's like a combination of the Bourne Identity and Ocean's Eleven. Awesome.
Starring Tom Cruise and Simon Pegg,
Made in 2011
Status: may still be playing in some theaters, not out on video yet
I would like to start out by saying that this movie has absolutely nothing to do with any of the previous Mission Impossible films, so if you know nothing about Mission Impossible, you're in the same boat as everyone else that went to see this movie.
The plot of the movie is actually pretty standard. The villains are trying to launch a nuclear missile, and the heroes are trying to stop them. However, this plot works well for the movie because so many other things happen that you actually don't want a complex plot, because it would actually just be a bit of a distraction.
This movie succeeds where all of the previous Mission Impossible movies failed, for one simple reason: it's not all about Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise still plays the main character, secret agent Ethan Hunt, but in this movie he leads a team of other secret agents who all work together to accomplish their mission. I barely remember the first Mission Impossible movie, but one thing I do remember is that the rest of Tom Cruise's team gets killed off in the first 10 minutes, so we have to watch Tom Crusie do secret agent things by himself for another hour and 50 minutes. It gets kinda old, and then they made two sequels, which are also only about Tom Cruise's character.
Basically, this movie is very similar in structure to the Ocean's Eleven movies. Having a whole team of diverse characters with ranged personalities is much more entertaining to watch than one emotionless protagonist. They all have different backstories and motivations, and they each have different skills. Also, just like Ocean's Eleven, when they explain the plan for each scheme, you will have no idea what they're saying, but as soon as you see the plan executed it becomes incredibly easy to understand.
The movie really picks up when the main characters are framed for a crime they didn't commit (this happens early on, it's not much of a spoiler). This is actually a great way to introduce a new audience to the series, because it means that the majority of their resources are irrelevant, so it creates a greater emphasis on the characters.
The best part of the movie is probably Simon Pegg (known for Shawn of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz) who plays the geeky computer hacker member of the group. This man has natural comedic timing and could make long expositions something you remember fondly. Another highlight is one of the locations they chose, which is the tallest building in the world, located in Dubai. Tom Cruise has to spiderman up the walls at one point. There are also many memorable action sequences in unique locations, for example, a car chase in a sandstorm.
Now I should say the movie isn't perfect. There are a few weak points in the movie, although the movie does not suffer from them. The most disappointing thing in the movie is the villains. The movie spends so much time introducing the characters that there is very little time to set up the villains. There's also a blonde female villain who you're made to believe is awesome, and she turns out to be fairly incompetent.
But the movie is still awesome. Go see it when it comes out on video.
PROS: Has nothing to do with the first 3 movies, interesting character dynamics, great cast in general, very well directed, innovative, funny, great set locations, great fight scenes, cool technology, (basically everything).
CONS: the villains were a little disappointing.
RATING: Getting to a bus stop right at the moment that the bus pulls up.
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2. REAL STEEL
-They made it, it's out on video, I just rented it, and now you're reading about it: The Rock'em Sock'em Robots Movie.
Starring Hugh Jackman
Made in 2011
status: out on video
When I first heard about this movie I thought it would be terrible. Then I heard a couple of people tell me it was actually really good, and I saw a lot of positive reviews on the internet. So I rented it with an open mind. The end result: it was pretty bad.
Hugh Jackman plays a washed up boxer in a world where nobody is interested in professional boxing anymore. Instead, robots fight each other in the ring, and people watch (it kinda reminds me of Medabots). Hugh Jackman's character is trying to make his living in these robot boxing matches, when he is reunited with his son, and the two of them find a crappy robot in a junkyard that mimics Hugh Jackman's boxing style and shows everyone that a little robot can beat up the big evil robots, and in the process Hugh Jackman recaptures his youth as a boxer and the father and son grow closer together.
(WOW, that's a lot of cliches).
I hate really bad movies. I really do. The only thing I hate more than a really bad movie is a really bad movie that has some very positive points to it. The movie is still almost entirely bad, and the good parts go to waste. This movie is a perfect example of that: a couple of really cool and well done things, surrounded by massive quantities of crap.
Most of the scenes where the robots are actually fighting each other are amazing. Whoever choreographed the fight scenes really knew what they were doing. It's almost impossible to not root for the main character's robot, and you will feel scared when you think he's about to lose. The only problem here is that there are really only like 4 fights in the movie, and they're really short, and the movie is 2 hours long.
There are also a couple of really good scenes early on. There are a few scenes at the start explaining why Hugh Jackman suddenly has to spend time with his son who he's never seen before. The boy's mother died so Hugh Jackman's character decides to use custody of his son as leverage to get the boy's aunt and uncle to pay him a huge sum of money. Basically, he sells his son. This is possibly the best scene in the movie. This scene is cleverly written and it also serves the purpose of setting up how much of an asshole Hugh Jackman's character is. It's movie making 101, don't tell us someone is an asshole, show us that someone is an asshole, and this scene does that perfectly. I really liked it. There are also a few really clever scenes early on that further introduce the main character's personality.
All of those are good things. The problem is that this movie just has so many problems that those positive points just aren't enough to compensate. The biggest problem is the script. The script feels like it was written by an 8 year old, and not just because it's about giant robots fighting each other. It's just poorly written dialogue. Every single detail has to be made as explicit as possible. The audience isn't allowed to infer anything. If a character is sad, they will say they're sad. If someone is evil, they will say that they're evil. Even the least intelligent of moviegoers can understand basic body language.
One example is when the villain loses and when asked about his loss, the villain gives a look of anger and just walks away. That alone is enough. What is not needed is for the main character to laugh and go "HA HA, No comment!" Moments like this are everywhere in the movie.
Basically, I'm saying that even a movie about giant robots fighting each other should have some subtlety.
This movie also has some of the least developed side characters I've ever seen. The female lead in this movie literally DOES NOTHING. EVER. She could be removed entirely from this movie and nothing would be lost. In fact, the movie would probably flow a little better. The villains are also laughably bad. They look like villains, and they're jerks, therefore, they're villains.
I guess I should also mention that since the fights don't take up much of the movie, the majority of it is the main character bonding with his son. I'm not kidding. That is the majority of the movie. I guarantee that most people wanting to see this movie would rather see robots fight than the forced sentimentality that comes from this father son relationship.
The movie also flows very badly. It's 2 hours long, and it doesn't need to be that long. Huge segments of the movie could be edited out or combined with other segments and nothing of value would be lost. The last fight of the movie also comes completely out of nowhere. I wasn't paying attention to how far I was in the movie when I was watching it, and I was blown away when we reached the climax. I thought I was maybe like 2/3 through the movie, not 9/10 through it. It felt rushed. It felt like way more things had to happen first before they should be fighting the villains. They literally just challenge the villains to a fight out of nowhere and the villains accept, because otherwise the movie would have to be nearly longer. For one thing, they had only won one fight so far. Even a montage would help this a bit.
Then there's the ending, which was just dumb. It completely rips off the ending of "Rocky", which is a great ending, but it does a really bad job of it. This movie is a perfect example of why movie scripts need proofreaders.
Basically, you should avoid this movie. You might be able to find some youtube videos of the fight scenes, which are the majority of this movie's appeal.
PROS: a few scenes at the start, and some fight scenes
CONS: most of the movie is filler, there are many poorly developed characters, forced sentiment, bad acting from actors who honestly just don't care, awkwardly written dialogue throughout most of the movie, and the ending blows.
RATING: when you step in a lot of puddles, and your shoelaces get untied, so you have to retie your soggy shoelaces.
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So anyway, those are my reviews. Leave a comment and let me know what you thought, or just tell me in real life
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