Visual Novel Blabbering Reviews presents "My Girlfriend is the President"

Visual novels(VNs) are a special gem in the 21st century. It's exactly what the name implies, a story with pictures to go along with it!

Undisputably the best Visual Novel of our generation

Most commonly produced in Japan, VNs provide the player/reader with stories of all sorts, ranging from horror, sci-fi, comedy, and even romance! They also have interactive elements, giving the player control on how the story progresses. The most common examples of VNs are the video game series Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, where you play as a lawyer to defend his clients and more recently the cult classic Katawa Shoujo, where essentially you go to a school full of crippled girls for you to fu-Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii mean a school full of disabled girls for you to have se-Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii mean a romance novel about a young adult who goes to a school full of girls whom suffer from physical challenges which you can enter mature courtships with.

God it's hard to describe that game without sounding creepy... ANYWAY

 Essentially, they are all VNs with the option for the player to interact with the story. This gives the chance for players to experience the rich stories this media has to offer... most of the time anyway. Much like any other form of entertainment, there are the bad that come with the good. There is even the really weird. The VN I am about to explore for you, is just that. Ladies and gentlemen, "My Girlfriend is the President"!

Do you know how awkward it is to look through images in Google with safe search OFF?

I forgot to mention, that the genre of THIS specific VN is labeled as an eroge which contains scenes in which you see the main character engage in... uh... "adult activities". Don't worry! There will be nothing NSFW shown in the contents of this blog. I have class thank you very much!

If you're still wondering what exactly the plot is, I'll have you read the title of the game again. Go ahead, I'll wait.... are you done? You are? Good! You now know what this VN is about! More specifically, aliens crash land on Earth and in panic they replace the president with your female friend in the country of The United States of Nippon. I'm serious. That's the name of the country in the VN. You are appointed vice president and other friends in other positions. 

Anyway the alien all responsible for this mess is Qoo.

Look at this bitch! She has guilty written all over her!

Qoo explains that basically shit is going down and she crashed on her planet while running away from the space police. In a panic, she erased everyone on Earth's memories and for some reason appointed your childhood friend as president. There isn't much left in the story. You meet a talking Panda, you find out you have special powers, and you defeat the big bad guy and everyone leaves happily ever after! I assume so anyway, I quit this about halfway through because I just had enough with this game. Anyway, onto the girls!

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This is Yukino Ohama

I guess one qualification to be president is to be kawaii as fuck

Ohama is your childhood friend. She is the most obvious choice of love interest because she EXPLICITLY STATES THIS MULTIPLE TIMES THAT SHE LOVES THE MAIN CHARACTER EVEN BEFORE YOU GET TO DECIDE. It's like walking through a store thinking about what you want to buy and the manager is yelling in your face to buy a turkey. She's quite protective of you and she's a terrible cook! Her last name also sounds similar to Obama, which is weird.

Waifu meter: 5/10 (Needs improvement overall, can't cook and is somewhat bland of a personality.)

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Now we move onto Irina Vladimirovna Putina

I'll let the name sit for a while until you realize it's basically Vladimir Putin

Putina is one of the first females you meet that isn't Ohama. At first they are bitter rivals due to their respective countries, as the game goes on, they become friends and make diplomatic peace! In reality, I'm pretty sure they just both know what they want (i.e. your dick) so they PROBABLY just want to see who you choose. She's a good fighter (black belt in karate) and assuming she is like the real Vladimir Putin, probably a total badass.

Oh wait I forgot to mention her assistant, Kuon

She doesn't deserve a semi-not witty caption. I hate her. She is a bitch and she hates you and she wants you dead because she's a secret lesbian for Putina and she don't want you taking her

Waifu meter: 8/10 (Pretty good, might be castrated in the process due to Kuon)

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Next up is Ran Miyoshi

aka "Tits McWhoreTease"

Ran is one of the main characters that doesn't have a name making fun of a world leader. She is also a childhood friend of the protagonist's childhood friends until [SUPER SECRET SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!]She becomes sick and an alien takes over her body while the "old" Ran dies[END SUPER SECRET SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!] It only gets weirder than that. She also has super powers and takes the identiity of a crime fighting heroine who comes to save the protagonist's ass.

Oh, and she has huge tits and can cook and is a tease ALL THE TIME WITH THE PROTAGONIST.

Waifu meter: 11/10 (TitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTitsTits oh yeah and she cooks and is independent and stuff)

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Finally we have Wezekieru / 'Eru'

Fuck you and your context!

She is a spaceship. Yes, you read that right. She is a human manifestation of the spaceship Qoo crash landed on. She is in charge of protecting the main character. She's as naive as any other alien spaceship loli that you see (don't worry she's 18.)

But yeah outside of that she's boring and she looks like she's 12

Waifu meter: No/10

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So final thoughts? I wouldn't recommend this game. However, I'm not saying you shouldn't play it. If you want something that's really weird that'll give you a chuckle or if you're lonely and need a virtual girl to tell you that she loves you, then this game is just that. Don't read it for the story, read it for the weirdness that it is.

[[Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this! My first blog post and whatnot. Might turn this into a little series of reviews for VNs that I really want to review or some weird ones that I find. Criticism appreciated, but nothing too harsh!]]